Wedding registries are supposed to be one of the “fun” wedding tasks you have to complete. But I’ve seen a lot of posts griping and moaning about how uncomfortable it makes people or how they don’t need anything. I don’t think it’s for everyone, but I do think it’s practical thing to do. Most guests expect it, and appreciate knowing that they’re getting you something you want and need. At the very least, you can always register for lots of sheets and towels, extra glasses, and maybe a few fun things, right? Right.

NEPA Groom and I have lived at home since college and won’t live together until we’re married, so we’re almost like the stereotypical couple doing the registry stuff. We need just about everything. Both parents have gifted us a few things already, like a coffee pot to keep my homicidal urges at bay wake me up in the morning, knives that I can’t touch before coffee, and a few other kitchen things. We also have some furniture we’ll inherit, along with some never used plates and flatware.

That being said, we still needed lots of stuffs, so I did the research and decided we’d hit two places, Target and Macy’s. We’ve been doing the Target stuff all online, though I want to hit up their scanners in store for a few furniture pieces. After our pre-cana adventure that’s soon to be chronicled, we stopped at Macy’s to start one there. The consultant was super helpful and got us started with no problem. And I got a free bag:

Yay <3<3<3<3 It carries my wedding pretties now. We spent about an hour in Macy’s scanning things like sheets, towels and some kitchen gadgets. We generally decided the things we wanted to be nicer, and in a higher price point, would go on the Macy’s list. Their sheets looked better than Target’s, though there are cute ones at both stores. Macy’s also wins with their Martha Stewart collection! After about an hour though, we were both pooped. It’s a little stressful trying to pick the right things all at once, so we called it a day and added more stuff online later.

My tips for choosing where to register would be:

• Check return policies. Make sure you’re ok with it before you commit.
• Check availability for guests. Older guests don’t want the intarwebs. They want to go to a store. Is there a retail location near the bulk of your guests that they can visit.
• Try to add more than the number of guests you have, but don’t feel pressured to “double” like they want you to. I can’t imagine needing all the stuff that I’m supposed to need. We’ll probably have a ratio of 1.3 items per guest on our lists. It’s a little extra to choose from, but not crazy big.
• Register for what you’re comfortable with. They’ll push you to bigger and better and crazier but if you don’t need fine china, by all means don’t register for it.

And finally, I’d say DO register for a few things, even if you’re against it. It’s a good thing to do, it provides your guests with some direction, and it’s not greedy. I hear a lot of brides have all this guilt over registering. Forget that. It’s a given rule that if you’re getting married, someone somewhere will get you a gift. They want you to like your gift. Hence, the registry.

How was your registering experience? Did you find it fun or exhausting? Did you go in store or do it all online?

One really great part of visiting David’s Bridal was that we found the bridesmaid dress!

WOO!

I knew I wanted the girls to wear dark purple, preferably a-line, and not floor length. Other than that I didn’t really care. After I was finally freed from the the grip of the Wedding Industrial Complex, the mothers went off the look at mother of the bride dresses and the girls and I headed over to the bridesmaid dresses. I gave them my requirements and we started looking. After a bit I went to check on the moms. When I got back I was informed that they had voted that the dress would not be strapless. Fair enough.

Finally, each girl picked a dress and headed over to try it on. They each came out and all three dresses looked amazing! I forgot to pull my camera out for pictures, but they all looked great. I figured they might each pick a different dress, but all of them turned to each other and thought for a second, then picked one dress as the winner!

I emailed Bridesmaid E later that night and she was a fan as well. Is it really so simple?

Our runners up were:

The DB F12942 (or something really similar)

The DB F13620

Aaand our winner, in PLUM, is:

The David’s Bridal D02101

It’s got a lovely bow in back and meets all of my requirements. They’re happy and I’m happy. And I thought this would be the hard part! Did your bridesmaids pick out their own dress? Was it easy or did it take a long time?

After putting it off for months, I called David’s Bridal and grilled them on a lot of things: plus size dress selection, average size of plus size samples, and most importantly, what was the least busiest day of the week and could I make my appointment then.

When the day finally rolled around, I was still pretty nervous. I ended up bring both moms and all the bridesmaids except for E since she’s two hours away (I cut you some slack this time ). My mom and I got there early and I got all checked in, and gave my consultant all the vital stats. One thing I’d like to say right up front is that the staff at David’s was really wonderful. Everyone was friendly and went out of their way to help us out. I know it’s kind of the red headed step child of bridal salons, but I have NO complaints about the service they provided!

The thing I had the hardest time with was just, well, I guess the Way It Is. The bridal salon setup. The Wedding Industrial Complex. Whatever you want to call it. I had an uneasy feeling during a lot of the visit. I was trapped in the giant dressing room box listening to my friends arrive and introduce themselves to each other, and FMIL. All the while I’m stuck standing in a giant box in a crinoline that doesn’t quite fit waiting to be stuffed into a dress.

I tried on a bunch of dresses, and it was pretty educational – I found some that looked nice, some that looked terrible, and some that were just ok. I just don’t think I can go back with a big group again. It’s probably me and NEPA Mom, or MOH M, from this point forward, if I go at all. It was too many opinions, and too many disapproving looks from the moms. My style is not their style, and I felt a lot of pressure to conform. I know they mean well, but it was disheartening at times. It’s hard enough trying to imagine how a dress that’s 2 sizes too small will really look without all the background noise.

Either way, I’ll share the results and see what you think!

NEPA GROOM: This one is for real. You don’t want to look. Pictures of me in a wedding dress dead ahead. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.

1. A lot of people have liked this one. I thought it was pretty, but too fancified for my taste. A+ for sweetheart neckline and side runching. *was on my list*

2. The motherly choice. I like it a lot too, it’s probably my 2nd favorite out of all we saw. I’m not totally sold on the veil but what can you do! *was on my list*

3. ATTACK OF THE POOF. JUST SAY NO. *consultant pick*

4. I wasn’t sure how I felt about pickups, so I thought I’d try this one on. It wasn’t for me, especially with all the beading. But apparently my boobalas must have been looking good! *consultant pick*

5. I wasn’t excited about this. I think it was the flat strapless top that didn’t look good. *consultant pick*

6. I kind of liked the flyaway part of the front of the skirt, but again with the beads. *consultant pick*

7. FULL OF WIN! The short dress with white socks look. Le sigh. This made me really happy, even though it was wide open in the back. It had a few beads, which I could forgive since it was such pretty lace. *was on my list*

8. With the birdcage veil <3<3<3. The moms hated it. I think Bridesmaid E made a snooty comment on FB about it too (keeeeding. I love you!!), haha. I love them. This one was stiff and stood way up and it still made me crazy happy.

So all of that leaves us… still without a dress. I learned I don’t look good in ivory – white actually looks better, even though I am super pale. While I learned a lot, I found the whole ‘process’ of trying on dresses intimidating and exhausting.

But that doesn’t mean we’re not without a wedding dress in our future….

Did anyone else ever find the wedding dress process exhausting/frustrating/crazy? How did you deal?

Hi all,

This is just a quick note to let everyone know my posting has been, and will continue to be light for a little while. I’ve got a pinched nerve in my shoulder (so we think) and have been working with my doctor on a treatment. Right now, by the time work is done I’m only up for about 10-15 minutes of online time a night, so my blogging has been slowed down a lot. I’m working on a lot of great things, but I can’t seem to get far before the pain starts shooting down my arm. As I can post, I will, but I ask for patience while I heal up.

XOXO,

NEPA Bride

I just wanted to share this in case any of you wonderful NEPA brides out there were interested. There’s a bridal expo happening next weekend, on Sunday the 21st, down at the F.M. Kirby Center in Wilkes-Barre. I won’t be attending since I’ve already had my fill of bridal expos, but brides early in the planning process might find it useful! They’re doing a big giveaway too, and that’s always fun.

If you attend, let me know how it went and what parts you loved. I also recommend creating a new email address just for signing up with vendors at the expo, because some of them can occasionally be pretty spammy. Better safe than sorry!

I don’t know exactly when it first happened, but after my initial bout of dress research, I happened upon it. The perfect wedding dress style. All the dresses I had been looking at and planning on trying on were really pretty, but even my favorites still didn’t really feel like me. NEPA Groom and I are pretty casual people, in general. I wanted to feel like myself on my wedding day, just a more dressy version of myself. So imagine my delight when I saw one of these:

(again, NEPA Groom, you might want to avoid what’s next if you want to be surprised)

Dolly Couture’s Marin County

The short dress! Comfy and a little poofy and it lets you show off a sweet ass pair of SHOOOOOOOES! How had I missed this?

Mrs. Candy Corn from Wedding Bee

David’s Bridal 9T9948

I was so excited to try some of these kind of dresses on. I showed some to family and friends, and I got a mixed reaction. All my friends have agreed that these dresses are more “me”, but both moms have made it clear they think a longer dress looks nicer and it doesn’t feel quite like a wedding with a short dress. I’m working on bringing them around, and it’s not easy, but I know this is what I love and what I’m excited about!

Next up, actually trying on dresses! (finally!)

While dealing with all of my dress anxiety was (and still is) an ongoing process, I did start looking at dresses online a few months before we got engaged. My lack of wedding experience meant that I didn’t really speak the dress language and didn’t really know what I wanted. I tried to put the negative thoughts in the back of my mind and just started looking at the styles of dresses that were out there to see what appealed to me, regardless of how unhealthy and thin the model wearing the dress looked.

I wasn’t looking to find THE DRESS!!!! at the moment, because God knows I’d fall head over heels for the one dress that only came in sizes 0-6.  So, that being said, here are some of the images I began collecting on my dress hunt (NEPA GROOM: If you want to be totally surprised, don’t look. Just warning you ):

I realized I didn’t want anything too complicated. Beading = fail. Lace was ok, but I found the dresses that appealed the most to me were much plainer, often A-line cut, also often with an asymmetrical side swept front. Runching around the waist truly is a girl’s best friend! A lot of these dresses had some, but not all of my requirements, but I liked them as a starting point and something share with both moms and the bridesmaids.

Alfred Angelo 1148

This dress caught my eye early on, especially since Alfred Angelo used it so heavily in their magazine ads.

Emerald Couture 9119

I think I saw this in a magazine the first time, and I went and bookmarked it. Thus began a small obsession with ruffles. The halter top is not me at all, but mmmmm ruffles.

Caroline wedding gown

Ok, ok, I know, this doesn’t fit at all. It’s covered in beads, sigh. But, it was another early dress that inspired me with all it’s layers, which are much easier to see with the champagne color. It also introduced me to the side swept waist, which has proven to be a good friend to me.

Galina for David’s Bridal 9N9781

I’m not such a huge fan of this dress as much as I am of the shrug! There’s something so pretty and feminine about a strapless dress with a ruffly bolero. *dreamy sigh*

What kind of dresses first inspired you? Did they help you narrow down your choices, or help you find the right bridal salon to visit?

]]> http://nepabrideblog.com/2010/02/11/finding-my-dresspiration/feed/ 2 http://nepabrideblog.com/2010/02/10/a-not-so-traditional-guest-book/ http://nepabrideblog.com/2010/02/10/a-not-so-traditional-guest-book/#comments Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:12:52 +0000 NepaBride http://nepabrideblog.com/?p=621

I’m not a huge fan of the traditional guest book. Everyone signs it, maybe they write something nice, and then you read it and…. put it on a shelf? Stick it in the attic? Never see it again? Boo to that. The mister and I were discussing the guest book a while back and I remembered something I saw at a wedding a couple of years ago.

Our friends Ashley and Gerry had one of their engagement photos set out next to the place cards at their reception. The glass was taken out of the frame, and the extra wide matting was open for all of their guests to sign with cute gel pens in their wedding colors! I loved the idea of having everyone help decorate our new home, so I decided to make the idea mine.

We ordered an 8 x 10 of one of our pictures, and then I got to work looking for a frame. They had ready made frames for this purpose online, but most of them were $60+. Yikes! My next option was our dear friend Michaels. They do custom framing, so I thought maybe that would be the answer. However, some research online showed me that their custom framing prices can be insane, which is how they always manage to offer a 60% off custom framing coupon. 60% off $300 is still a load of cash.

Despite all of this, I headed up to Michaels to see what I could find. Maybe I could build it myself. I had picked up some matting and was walking around to check out the frames when I saw it:

This is from Michael’s Portrait Collection, and retails for $30. Waaaay better. And guess what else! This week it was on sale for $15. SWEET! I grabbed it up right away, and when I got home it was simple to open – I centered our engagement photo in the frame and taped it in place. All I need to do is buy a couple of Sharpies and we’re set:

I left the corner covers on to hopefully avoid any damage to the frame while I store it and move to to the venue in the fall. One quick tip – the stickers on the glass left a big mess. You can see it a little bit in the upper right corner of the picture above. You won’t need the glass for the wedding day, but why not clean it now while you’re thinking of it? I highly recommend:

YEAH! Like the label says, Goo Gone is full of CITRUS POWER! My frame is done and the glass is all clear. Let’s do the cost breakdown:

Frame: $15 on sale

Engagement Photo: $25 from our photographer

Total: $40

Not too bad for a piece of art we’ll get to hang up after the wedding. It literally took me less than 15 minutes to put together, so I think even the most DIY challenged brides can handle it! Are you doing a non-traditional guest book? Was it a lot of work or simple to do?

Ahhh, Boscov’s. If you’ve lived in NEPA, you’re undoubtedly familiar with it. The Wilkes-Barre Boscov’s is the most beat up of all the stores, and is often a dumping ground for unwanted merchandise from the rest of the chain. And, apparently, it’s also good for wedding planning. Yes,I said wedding planning and Boscov’s in the same sentence!

Reader Aly B. left me a comment last week about her recent Boscov’s discovery:

On a side note, have you been to Boscov’s basement? They have so many inexpensive vases and knick-knacks. I bought about 20 glass bar pitchers that I can use as table vases. At $1 a piece, they are awesome!

Wow! Who woulda thunk it?

But it makes perfect sense – a lot of the stuff being brought in to our Boscov’s is being marked down to sell, so it’s a perfect place to go to look for deals on vases and glassware. I’m going to try and get down there in the next couple of weeks to see if I can finish off my candy buffet glassware collection. Thank you Aly!

Has anyone else found wedding wares in unexpected places around NEPA? Share your finds here!

Oh dear readers, I have a problem. A problem with wedding dress shopping.

I don’t like it.

There, I said it. I have loathed the idea of going to try on wedding dresses for months. I got engaged in May and have been able to put off dress shopping until January. DO. NOT. WANT.

And that’s not to say that I don’t like wedding dresses. There’s so much fluffy pretty out there! It’s fun to look at, but only on other people. See, the thing is, I’m not exactly “sample size” material. What’s a plus size girl to do? Go and try on dresses that are close to what you want, and then hold up your dream dress in front of you and try to imagine the magic? Wear a dress that’s pretty much the equivalent of a burlap sack?

And then there’s the public humiliation bit – how undressed will you be in front of the consultant? Will they ask “how much weight do you plan to loose before the wedding?” Will people stare? And what kind of weird, inappropriate comments will sneak out from those that you’ve brought in to support you (you’d be surprised!).

I didn’t want to shop for wedding dresses because of the pressure and the shame that’s put on plus size girls. I didn’t want to be disappointed when I got there and my options were limited. I also didn’t want to be put into some kind of bridal stereotype that I didn’t fit. I have wonderfully supportive bridesmaids, but my dress shopping trip would be one of the first for all of us. So I was scared of wedding dresses.

Maybe it’s not just a plus size bride issue. Maybe this is something that plagues all brides. You want to find a bangin’ dress that makes you feel AWESOME on your wedding day, and you’re bombarded with TULLE! and BEADS! and OPINIONS!!!! and you can’t hear your own voice any more. It’s hard, but I think I’ve found my voice.

So what does that mean? That means it’s time for the story of finding my dress. Up next, my first inspiration pictures, and gathering up the courage to make a phone call…