So yes, we’ve finally come to the end of my dress search. And I have a confession to make. I knew what dress I was going to buy for months. Months. I went to David’s Bridal knowing full well my dress wasn’t there. I admired loads of other dresses, knowing they weren’t “it”.

So where did my dress come from?

The Intarwebs.

Now… I know what you’re thinking. “NEPA Bride, have you lost it? You can’t buy a WEDDING DRESS on the internet!”

Oh yes I can. I like to think of it this way – the reality is you’re trying on a sample dress. The dress that you wear on your wedding day has to be ordered, and can just as easily have issues or not live up to expectations like an internet dress. So there!

All kidding aside, I found my dress quite  a few months ago, and I was thinking about it when I tried on all those other dresses, and looked at all kinds of photos online. It’s cheesy, but I know it was the one all along. I specifically tried on dresses that matched parts of it to see if it flattered me, and they did. Now I’m waiting until it gets here and I get to meet that beautiful dress for the first time.

Soooo, what is it? I’m not going to tell you exactly which one (if you’re important you already know! otherwise it will be a surprise!) but I will tell you where I got it: Dolly Couture *squeal*I think her dresses are beautiful, and classic, but also a bit fun and more easy going than some of the traditional, more formal wedding gowns. Just about every person who has seen a picture of my dress has told me that it completely fits me and who I am. And that’s what I was going for.

Did you find your dress somewhere unusual? Were you afraid to order it online? How did your experience stack up?

After putting it off for months, I called David’s Bridal and grilled them on a lot of things: plus size dress selection, average size of plus size samples, and most importantly, what was the least busiest day of the week and could I make my appointment then.

When the day finally rolled around, I was still pretty nervous. I ended up bring both moms and all the bridesmaids except for E since she’s two hours away (I cut you some slack this time ). My mom and I got there early and I got all checked in, and gave my consultant all the vital stats. One thing I’d like to say right up front is that the staff at David’s was really wonderful. Everyone was friendly and went out of their way to help us out. I know it’s kind of the red headed step child of bridal salons, but I have NO complaints about the service they provided!

The thing I had the hardest time with was just, well, I guess the Way It Is. The bridal salon setup. The Wedding Industrial Complex. Whatever you want to call it. I had an uneasy feeling during a lot of the visit. I was trapped in the giant dressing room box listening to my friends arrive and introduce themselves to each other, and FMIL. All the while I’m stuck standing in a giant box in a crinoline that doesn’t quite fit waiting to be stuffed into a dress.

I tried on a bunch of dresses, and it was pretty educational – I found some that looked nice, some that looked terrible, and some that were just ok. I just don’t think I can go back with a big group again. It’s probably me and NEPA Mom, or MOH M, from this point forward, if I go at all. It was too many opinions, and too many disapproving looks from the moms. My style is not their style, and I felt a lot of pressure to conform. I know they mean well, but it was disheartening at times. It’s hard enough trying to imagine how a dress that’s 2 sizes too small will really look without all the background noise.

Either way, I’ll share the results and see what you think!

NEPA GROOM: This one is for real. You don’t want to look. Pictures of me in a wedding dress dead ahead. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.

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I don’t know exactly when it first happened, but after my initial bout of dress research, I happened upon it. The perfect wedding dress style. All the dresses I had been looking at and planning on trying on were really pretty, but even my favorites still didn’t really feel like me. NEPA Groom and I are pretty casual people, in general. I wanted to feel like myself on my wedding day, just a more dressy version of myself. So imagine my delight when I saw one of these:

(again, NEPA Groom, you might want to avoid what’s next if you want to be surprised)

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While dealing with all of my dress anxiety was (and still is) an ongoing process, I did start looking at dresses online a few months before we got engaged. My lack of wedding experience meant that I didn’t really speak the dress language and didn’t really know what I wanted. I tried to put the negative thoughts in the back of my mind and just started looking at the styles of dresses that were out there to see what appealed to me, regardless of how unhealthy and thin the model wearing the dress looked.

I wasn’t looking to find THE DRESS!!!! at the moment, because God knows I’d fall head over heels for the one dress that only came in sizes 0-6.  So, that being said, here are some of the images I began collecting on my dress hunt (NEPA GROOM: If you want to be totally surprised, don’t look. Just warning you ):

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Oh dear readers, I have a problem. A problem with wedding dress shopping.

I don’t like it.

There, I said it. I have loathed the idea of going to try on wedding dresses for months. I got engaged in May and have been able to put off dress shopping until January. DO. NOT. WANT.

And that’s not to say that I don’t like wedding dresses. There’s so much fluffy pretty out there! It’s fun to look at, but only on other people. See, the thing is, I’m not exactly “sample size” material. What’s a plus size girl to do? Go and try on dresses that are close to what you want, and then hold up your dream dress in front of you and try to imagine the magic? Wear a dress that’s pretty much the equivalent of a burlap sack?

And then there’s the public humiliation bit – how undressed will you be in front of the consultant? Will they ask “how much weight do you plan to loose before the wedding?” Will people stare? And what kind of weird, inappropriate comments will sneak out from those that you’ve brought in to support you (you’d be surprised!).

I didn’t want to shop for wedding dresses because of the pressure and the shame that’s put on plus size girls. I didn’t want to be disappointed when I got there and my options were limited. I also didn’t want to be put into some kind of bridal stereotype that I didn’t fit. I have wonderfully supportive bridesmaids, but my dress shopping trip would be one of the first for all of us. So I was scared of wedding dresses.

Maybe it’s not just a plus size bride issue. Maybe this is something that plagues all brides. You want to find a bangin’ dress that makes you feel AWESOME on your wedding day, and you’re bombarded with TULLE! and BEADS! and OPINIONS!!!! and you can’t hear your own voice any more. It’s hard, but I think I’ve found my voice.

So what does that mean? That means it’s time for the story of finding my dress. Up next, my first inspiration pictures, and gathering up the courage to make a phone call…

A few people have asked me about dresses, and while I keep telling people “one thing at a time”, I’ve been looking around a bit and tossing around a few ideas. I love the look of strapless wedding dresses paired with a cute little ruffly shrug. Particularly being a plus size bride, I’m not all about showing off tons of skin. Unfortunately, the wedding industry doesn’t seem to understand that. Dresses either show lots of skin, or end up looking old and frumpy. But just imagine a dress paired with this little bit of happy I found on Etsy:

There are tons of sites out there where you can buy a strapless dress. I was checking out dimitradesigns.com over the weekend and saw a bunch of designers I love, like Alfred Angelo. Wouldn’t this strapless dress look great with the shrug?

I’d be totally game for a dress like this with a shrug. So many of the cutest styles I love are strapless, so this may be the route I eventually go. How do you feel about strapless gowns? Are they no big deal or should larger brides have more options? If you know of any other good sources for shrugs, please comment!